A quick PSA for Mother's Day. I want to talk quickly about future you and your kids. Right now, we're caught in the moment of Motherhood (and a pandemic) and it's hard to see anything that doesn't seem a little foggy.
But think of this...in the story of your kids' lives, where do you fit in? Yes, of course...you do ALL the the things. But when they look back on photos, will they see that? Will they see how hard you work? How you still have time for the cuddles and to kiss their scraped knee? Will they remember how you lovingly played toys with them, even though you'd rather be doing something else. Will they see you being wild and carefree for those careful moments before you have to go make dinner? Will they?
And you? Do you want to look back at photos of your family only to find yourself missing? Believe me, I know that its hard to capture the memories and be in them at the same time, but I know how important it is to my family history that I'm in there somewhere.
I also know how hard it is to exist in photos when you are not comfortable with the person you see in them. It's taken a lot of soul searching to be ok with the person I see. I've learned to look past a double chin or some wrinkles and think what will my kids remember? They never notice those "imperfections" that I see. They only see the love, the excitement, the joy of our time together. Soon I found that I wasn't seeing the "imperfections" as much any more either. Don't get me wrong, I have plenty of photos that make me go "is that really what I look like from behind?!" Now I try to take the time to look and see the story in each photo. The legacy that we are creating and that I'm letting myself be part of.
Get in the frame.
So I know, you're probably going to get to have some quality time with your kids this Mother's Day and I want to challenge you to get in the frame. Hand your phone to your partner and get them to snap a few shots, set a timer and take some self portraits of you being silly with your kids. Avoid the posed "smile for the camera shots" and try and get some doing what you do best. Being their Mom. Then look at the photos. Really look...past you and see if you can see the story...the light in your kids eyes when they look at you or your smile when you look at them. This is your legacy.
“Oh my God, what if you wake up some day, and you're 65, or 75, and you never got your memoir or novel written, or you didn't go swimming in those warm pools and oceans all those years because your thighs were jiggly and you had a nice big comfortable tummy; or you were just so strung out on perfectionism and people-pleasing that you forgot to have a big juicy creative life, of imagination and radical silliness and staring off into space like when you were a kid? It's going to break your heart. Don't let this happen.”
― Anne Lamott
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